joyful living and fearless dying

Pink Coat Funerals

A funeral is a final gift to a loved one. A good funeral can be satisfying, inspiring and moving, and give us a sense of belonging. Pink Coat funerals are a real celebration of a life, which is why I call myself a celebrant. Grief and loss are not ignored, but take their place alongside remembering, gratitude and joy.

People often tell me about funerals that have left them feeling alienated, isolated and angry. What makes the difference is largely the degree of involvement on the part of the family and close friends in planning the funeral.

True individuality can be expressed through the choice of venue, type of coffin, music, readings and poems, symbols and decorations. A unique and relevant ceremony tends to unfold as we spend time reflecting on possibilities and reminiscing about your loved one. Whatever the circumstances of the death, a funeral can be positive and healing.

As a funeral celebrant my foremost job is to listen carefully to you and the stories you share so that I come to know the person whose life is being commemorated. I ask you to bring it all out, the hurts and the delights, so we can find ways to express the fullness of your loved one with honesty and compassion.

Increasingly people are seeking truly appropriate and personal funeral services or ceremonies, ones that leave no doubt as to whose life is being honoured. I work with people who are not comfortable about what else is on offer.

A sense of satisfaction, togetherness and meaning comes from being involved in creating a funeral. Feelings of grief have somewhere to go.

I'm very happy to answer queries or discuss your situation by telephone or email, obligation free.

If you are looking for assistance with preparing a eulogy or tribute I am happy to discuss that with you, too. Click here for some examples.

The poem below captures the honour I feel in this role. It is the final poem on my CD of poems, When Death Comes Close.

On Being a Funeral Celebrant

Here I am, somehow standing in for this person
we have all gathered to honour and farewell.
I have listened to family and friends,
asked questions to elicit the fullest picture,
the roundest sense of the life at the centre of our ritual.

And here I am, holding it all,
the balance of dignity and lightness,
truth and compassion, sorrow and hopefulness.
In the face of death I am alive, fully present,
every cell seeming to take in and give out what is needed.

Who am I serving in this cherished role?
I am serving the deceased,
standing in the midst of her family,
listening on her behalf,
open to the shades and the nuances.

I am serving family members,
each different in relationship and perspective,
each creating their piece of the remembering.

I am serving friends, colleagues,
anyone who needs to mark an ending,
to say goodbye,
to use the efficacy of ceremony
to be with their regretting and their gratitude.

I am serving the professionals -
the funeral director,
crematorium and cemetery staff,
musicians and bearers
by attending to the details
so the process is orderly and timely.

I serve healing,
for a funeral that is fitting and meaningful
and invites participation
sits well in our bones,
and the journey back to wholeness can begin.

And over and around all this dwells a larger purpose,
a call, a sense that here amidst death and dying
I am honoured and enabled to serve.

The photographs below show a funeral ceremony, taking place at the home of the deceased, and reproduced with kind permission of the family. Click on an image to view a larger version.

Testimonials

"It was a very inspiring funeral and I think you are doing fantastic work in helping people to realise they really can have the funeral they want rather than the narrow conventional choices." Alex, Sussex

"I'm so very glad we decided to have your help with Raye's funeral. It was as good as I could possibly have hoped, and you played a pivotal and significant role in that. We did her proud, and in a way that was very much in keeping with her life. It is a testament to your sensitivity and consideration that you were able to play the role you did so effectively without ever having even met Raye. Thank you so very much." Kate, Frome

"Thank you so much for all of your advice and kind words, they truly were a blessing. I used the format to help gather my family members to say some words. I am a bit more of the "entertainer" in my family so it was my impetus that got it together. I wrote a speech from my heart, just like you said, and it flowed out of me perfectly: What I love About My Papa." Genevieve, Canada

"I just wanted to say what a fantastic job you made of organising today... in every way. The service was fantastic - just perfect. I will never view funerals in the same way again - it was just a wonderful tribute to Margaret and reminded us all of her at her best. It was all so appropriate and so dedicated to her - no irrelevant talk - a celebration of her life. Brilliant."

Charges and area served

Funeral or Memorial Service: £160

(An additional fee may be charged to cover longer, double or more complex ceremonies. This will be discussed.)

I also offer telephone consultations at £25 per hour for those who wish to create an alternative funeral without using me as celebrant.

My travel is charged at 40p per mile, or at cost if I use public transport.

Whilst I am based in Morayshire, Scotland and serve mostly my local area, I am open to considering assisting with funerals elsewhere, and especially to preparing eulogies /tributes where this is the main concern. Click here to see examples.